The Feeling: Introduction

The Feeling

The Feeling - Introduction

by Clayten Tylor

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Introduction: The Feeling

The Feeling

This “little book” is just about the feeling of spiritual love and happiness. Yet, I felt it was necessary to use terminology acceptable to both the religious and the atheist reader. However, that kind of logic was in the hope of changing the atheist into becoming a believer.

I thought about changing the word God, to Love; or even to something like Godd , just to overcome the dogma connected with it. Yet, that would be missing the point, because the traditional words, best resonate with the feeling that those particular vibrations spiritually represent. By this, I mean that the spiritual understanding of any word, such as “God,” comes from the actual vibration of that particular spelling. It is the inner vibration, as a spiritual feeling that gives life and meaning to the words.

Our personal name also causes an inner vibration as the spiritual feeling of our sense-of-self. Our name gets linked with knowing the inner nature or quality of our individual spiritual essence. Through a name we can determine the inner nature and quality of a person or thing.

Therefore, unless we can feel the internal sense of the word, we can never know the truth. The truth does not appear, except to those guided from within. Therefore, we will need to examine the internal spiritual feeling of words, such as “God” and “Christ,” “Heaven” and “Hell,” “Good” and “Evil,” to reveal what they represent spiritually, without their dogmatic religious interpretation.

All of this religious terminology is just the means to take us to a state of mind where we can actually approach the true sense of a name — its spiritual essence — and briefly become it as a feeling. We want to be able to feel like God, to be like Christ, and to “know” first hand the truth of what these words mean.

Also, throughout this entire book, my use of the term “man” is always meant to mean both male and female. The same dual-gender meaning applies to the “Divine Human,” “God-man,” and the “internal man.”

The terminology that we are forced to use to communicate, is merely an intellectual language. Yet, what I am going to explain is not an intellectual concept, but a perception of a spiritual feeling. The feeling is the most important perception of all of our physical senses, for the taste, smell, hearing, and sight, are all a result of it.

Although, we have only language to convey this “inmost feeling,” I want to stress that this affection cannot be understood with just words, because it is the communication of the heart, and the intellect puts up great resistance to this intuitive knowing.

The real language of spiritual love is the feeling aroused by pictorial symbolism, divinely inspired imagery that flows from within when the time is right for it to be revealed. If you have any resistance to religious terminology, then try to understand the particular word as I do, from a numerologist's point of view, not as a spiritual feeling, but as a sound vibration.

That said, you do not need to know anything about the spiritual meaning of numbers, to perceive the feeling of conjugial love. The best thing that you can do is to become aware of the spiritual feeling that certain words instill in you as an internal love-response. Pictorial imagery begins to be revealed, first by a celestial feeling, and then as a spiritual knowing.

The esoteric feeling of any word such as God, vibrates as the perfect meaning of everything that it represents spiritually. That precise word, gets needed to communicate to you that exact spiritual feeling. If reading or hearing a particular religious phrase upsets you or does not make you feel good, then that response is not in the actual word, it is in you. Our judgments block the feeling of knowing.

Likewise, by correspondence, the spiritual plane of the Divine gets felt to be reversed to the physical world. All religious symbols require that we turn and back ourselves into them, to act “as if” when we want to experience them spiritually. When we act as if, we re-unite with the spiritual essence of a thing. Therefore, we must first act as if, by putting ourselves in its place, and truly understand by experiencing it.

In addition, if you are accustomed to terminology such as love and wisdom, it would appear in the spiritual world reversed. Similarly, a color like red would appear as its after-glow as green. Moreover, if something irks you, such as a word like “feeling” or “God,” then you will not delight in the understanding of it. It is the delight of love that unites us to a thing that we desire to become.

This mundane talk about the spelling of words is just semantics, for what I mean is that you and I, as self-centered beings, cannot possibly understand or enter the spiritual and celestial worlds of love, because we are a response to its flow through us. As selfish as we are, we can never enter that particular level of love. At least, not until that self-centered aspect of ourselves is left outside.

As human beings, we are created by our resistance to the flow of spiritual love through us. Thus, the experience of living in a body can be painful by feeling separate from love. Yet, the feeling of separateness is necessary for the birth of the spiritual awareness of Oneness. Our painful separation and all personal suffering gets based on an illusion arising from a misunderstanding. This is how the spirits rule over us.

Another thing to mention to help you understand where I am coming from is that I believe that everything is an aspect of memory, conscious energy made of mind stuff. Thus, if you believe in reincarnation then that too is just memory. Everything, including all knowledge gets contained within, and w e want to enter the memory to feel the Love and then the Light flow through us.

Consequently, we must get past our personal memory to be able to attune with the Divine. To experience the feeling of spiritual love, think of it as the memory of a celestial affection of being truly loved. The memory is the entrance into the spiritual feeling of heavenly happiness. We want to reach the inner center, where it is the most beautiful. That center, is an image in our memory.

Our personal memory is the collection of our most intense feelings of love as images. The intensity of our ruling love veils the feeling of our soul as an image essence. It follows us to eternity, unless we deal with the memories, no longer appropriate.

Think of your soul, as the essence of a spiritual fountain expressing the desires of your ruling love. Desires are feeling-premonitions of what is to come. They signify, what is possible with faith. Faith, is to believe that it shall be done.

Therefore, we must relax with our spiritual goals, if they are to manifest. To develop our spiritual self, we do not have to achieve anything special except to recall the feeling of the divine occasionally as a present state of being. Then, act on our own intuitive guidance to get it. Thus, to manifest any desire, it helps to think of it as a feeling from our past.

To manifest a spiritual knowing as faith, it would help if you imagine the Divine in this same way, as a loving feeling of affection from the past. Then all you have to do is remember that same spiritual feeling to trigger an influx of conjugial love from the Divine.

However, first we must reverse our position towards the idea that time and space are necessary constructs to manifesting our desires, or to healing, or to knowing the Divine. Once we do that, and make the shift from the intellectual self into our intuitive feeling-self without time and space, then these explanations about terminology will be redundant. Once we feel It, we will be It, for we are It now.

Essentially, try to feel the spiritual affection, and automatically you will love yourself. If you can feel your spiritual self, automatically you will love the Divine. It is the same with manifesting all your material goals — just love-them into the eternal now.

Also, forget about time, for it gets related to pain when it is concern about the future. Only love gets experienced without time. Only love gets predestined. Yet, we are all predestined to love, which first, needs to be the feeling of mutual-love on earth.

Thus, “purgatory is a fable invented by Roman Catholics” (T. C. R. 475.3, Rose). Yet, as a selfish lonely feeling, purgatory does still exist within. Especially, when we worry about the future and close off the feeling of love from within.

Thus, our greatest influence over time, space and the outer events in our life is not only by how we respond to the things that we like or dislike, but also by adjusting that response to a more loving feeling. This is because, if we dwell on something that we dislike, a similar negative feeling arises, which causes the event to repeat itself. This is how we are purified, first by the temptations that attract us, and then by the fermentation that separates us.

Conversely, if we dwell on the feeling of love as a corporeal sensation within our blood stream — presto, negative thoughts subside, mind-chatter becomes silent, and a spiritual love-affair begins as an affection throughout our entire body. It is the spiritual feeling of the soul coming forth as a pictorial image that saves us from ourselves.

Therefore, be cautious about negative thinking or worrying about the future. The sensation of worrying, not only blocks all of our worthy desires from manifesting, but also the inmost soul-feeling awareness of the spiritual feeling of love.

Human vs. the Divine Ego

Swedenborg's use of the Latin term proprium is translated “ own.” It is our ego, the sensation of our false awareness of having a separate sense of self. It is our hell. Spiritually, it is everything that we are. It is our feeling-response to the vibratory influences of the spiritual energies flowing through us. Our victory is to fight and overcome our own false identification, and begin to be reformed.

Much has been said about the temptations that result from trying to live up to the increasingly awakened spiritual feelings produced from a conjugial love experience. It is difficult to deal with the experience of spiritual love when it starts to grow from the inside, because it is backward to physical life. Most people are cautious about admitting to these spiritual feelings, because we associate them with being the perception of the feminine affections of love, and they make us feel weak.

I propose that the term proprium was a word used to highlight the ego's trans-formative process from a sensual feeling of selfishness, to an awakened intuitive sensitivity of Oneness. If we were to bring that to light, we could thereby acknowledge that just as we have a separate feeling of self, so too does God. Yet, in the perception of Oneness, all sense of separateness vanishes.

Therefore, when reading the words “proprium” and “own” in the following quotes, replace them with the term “feeling,” to see for yourself that they make a lot more sense.

“Man's own is the love of self and the conceit of self-intelligence” (S. S. 60).

“Man's own is twofold, one infernal, and the other heavenly. Man receives the infernal proprium from hell, and the heavenly proprium from heaven” (3812).

“Man's proprium is all evil and the false, originating in self-love and the love of the world” (210).

“The Lord is not conjoined by the proprium of man, but removes that, and gives him a new proprium from himself, in which He abides” (A. E. 254).

“Man's proprium is, as it were, destroyed, when it is vivified or made alive” (731).

The Word, is a Feeling

The esoteric sense of the Word, is an affection felt as the joy and happiness of conjugial love. As an esoteric vibration, conjugial love is the Divine in its celestial essence as a feeling. The Word then, is the Divine's Presence as a spiritual feeling of luminous love as a knowing.

The Word gets perceived first as a spiritual feeling of love that vibrates within the physical body as Divine Truth. It is perceived when man's life acts in accord with love and charity. Then the Word, is revealed as the affection of being able to love, spiritually.

Thus, “the Ancient Word was not written, but revealed to each individual, and inscribed on their hearts” (2896).

The Word, as a spiritual feeling, first comes about when we read, understand and then perceive. It is the feeling of the affection of spiritual love, which opens the perception of knowing.

Thus, “illustration flows into the natural man, by the affection of truth, when it is initiated in good” (2185).

This spiritual perception begins as an inner communication. It can appear like the light of the Sun, but it is the opening of the way to the things in our inmost sense of self.

Thus, “the mystery of the Word, is the contents of its internal or spiritual sense” (4923).

The “mystery” is finding the spiritual feeling of love within. To experience the “mystery” of the spiritual affection of love, let us do a quick exercise to symbolically separate from our possessive feeling of the ego. We are going back through our memory into the feeling of the Divine “name,” in the womb as our vibratory beginning.

However, please do keep in mind that merely reading the following words will not help you understand the esoteric feeling of the exercise, for only by having the actual spiritual experience will it convince you.

Yet, being able to feel the presence of the Divine name is not something that we can convince others of either. Thus, we will need to learn to share the spiritual feeling of love, to radiate the sensual affection to a greater and greater radius. This is how we transform the sensual vibration of our ego into an innocent, silent affection of spiritual-love, the primary principle of the feeling of conjugial love.


Separation Exercise #1

In Numerology, the feeling of our personal name, defines our personality and its psychological characteristics. It influences how we respond to life. The vibration of our name, makes us feel separate, including from the Divine.

Thus, “the Name of God signifies the Word” (T. C. R. 298); for the Word holds the feeling of everything that the Divine is. Your name also holds the feeling of everything that you have ever experienced in this lifetime. Your name represents everything that you identify with being you. The possessive cupidity feeling gets linked with being evil. Yet, it is only meant to be an immature expression of self-love.

Consider if we were to take away your ego, your so-called evil, the feeling of self-love with its sense of separateness, even for a few minutes, who would you be? Especially since “ Angels have no name” (1705); and “ M an's spirit is in a more perfect state when separated from the body” (Sp. Ex. 129).

So let us try a spiritual visualization, which I call the ego separation exercise. This is how the feeling of spiritual regeneration begins.

E xercise #1: Start by putting your sense of self, and all the memories of who you are as a person, onto an imaginary chair in the corner of your room. Spiritually, look at that distant sense of self. Who is the aspect of your consciousness reading this? This you, is the higher level of the mind: a state without mind-chatter, your spiritual self. This level of the self, is the feeling of spiritual love, but before it is fully love-conscious, before it has been manifested in our aura as the affection of the Divine, “made flesh.”

Now, let us imagine that the other self, the one in the opposite chair, is a search-lamp. Imagine its light as the feeling of love, lighting-up the lives of others. Yet, no matter how bright it becomes, it is still going to burn-out, because it is seeking love outside itself to feel happiness. It might get married, or receive an academy-award and feel good for a short time, but those are all outer “forms of love,” mere reflections of the real affection it is seeking.

The possessive aspect of our self, our ego, our love-of-self cupidity feeling, eventually has to learn to be affectionate, without needing a temporary form of love. Therefore, if we are ever to be spiritually happy, we must permanently reprogram our response to life by being lovable always — and not just when things are going well.

Now let us imagine that the spiritual you, the one reading this, is the self-less feeling of love flowing through that other self. If I was to ask you, “why don't you increase the feeling of love and give that other self everything that they want?” You would say, “if I did that, they would just continue as they are, they would not change, they would only buy more things, or look for another lover, etc.”

So, how do we get the other self, to become an awakened recipient and to start to work together? It is done by bringing the possessive self back into you and have the two of you re-unite. This is it! It is the only thing necessary to begin the process of becoming awake.

The feeling of separateness begins the process of being united and reborn. The sensation of being separate from the Divine, begins the process of spiritual regeneration. It results in a self-less affection of immortality, and with it, the knowledge of the survival of the spirit after death as a feeling of love.

The feeling of the Divine flows from Itself to become you. Through the feeling of the in-fluxing flow of spiritual love, Unity takes place. This is what actually takes place every night when we go to sleep. The possessive sense of self, partially separates and hovers above the physical body in the self-less feeling plane to dream to repair itself. When it returns to consciousness, it is because of a reflex action that the body, too, is repaired.

The process repeats itself again and again. You can wear your body out during the day, and it will repair itself night after night by a spiritual attunement. Our soul eventually awakens through time and dream, as we are being reborn into the truth of who we are, fully aware of the feeling of the one true Self.

It is the spiritual vibration of our name, which causes us to feel possessive. Our name creates the cupidity sensation of ownership, the subtle contracting feeling of self-love, with its stress and tension that wears our body out. Alternatively, it is the self-less affection of the Divine as a feeling, which repairs us when we sleep.

Therefore, when we become permanently spiritually awake, and we no longer feel separate, we can repair our own physical body at Will. This is done by attuning with this deeper cellular feeling of oneness, the selflessness of conjugial love.

The insecurity caused by the feeling of separateness threatens each of us. Imagine if we could feel the sense of separateness while a spirit was in possession of our thoughts and feelings. We would immediately be able to overcome them, and every negative thought and feeling. Now imagine, if we could all feel our sense of Oneness. There would be nothing to overcome.

Thus, evil spirits do not want us to wake-up and to be able to sense the spiritual feeling of love. They do not want us to know that we are not separate from love, because when we wake up, those negative evil spirits within, will naturally be gone. This waking up is the only way to rule over our own thoughts and emotions.

“ To awake denotes to be enlightened” (3715). Thus, “illumination is attributed to the holy ghost, effected through the medium of spirits and angels” (D. L. W. 150).

Chapter One »

The Feeling
by Clayten Tylor

The Feeling eBook ISBN #: 978-1-365-97840-1
Printed Book (172 pages) ISBN #: 978-1-365-97834-0
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First Published as The Feeling of Love

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The Feeling includes 100 sketches
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